This blog is kind of like a conscience for me…and kind of like a blackmail tool for Bob.
I write things down here and they become public commitments. I could say that writing it down in a journal would be the same sort of commitment but honestly, the only one that knows about a journal entry is me, the only one that knows I am not sticking to my word is me. I have let myself down so many times that it seems abnormal not to.
When I was a smoker I was always talking about quitting and would often decide, privately, that I was going to quit and I would. For an hour. But the experts say you should share your desire to quit with others. They will hold you to it. We can let ourselves down with no problem. Letting others down does not feel so good. I need to be held accountable. One time when I quit smoking I used a mayonnaise jar with a bit of water in it. On my last day of smoking I put all my butts in the jar with the water. After smoking my last cigarette I filled the jar the rest of the way with water and left it out on the kitchen counter and told my son that if he ever saw me smoke again I would take a drink of that water. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my ten year old son would delight in seeing me follow through on that. It worked, I quit.
Recently I have been trying to figure out what I can do to make this blog a little more…consistent. Hence my last blog regarding all the things you can do in thirty days. My plan was to commit to changing things about me for thirty days at a time and keeping you all updated. I was all gung ho about saying I was going to exercise for thirty days, or clean, or write, or do sit ups or whatever for thirty days and keep everyone updated via my blog. (because people find that crap fascinating?) But, I know me. I know I struggle, I know there are few things I follow through on and I was chicken to write it down. I did not want anyone to know that I wasn’t doing what I committed to doing.
Then along came Lent. Along with wanting to improve some things in my life Lent made me think of how much I want to have a closer relationship to God. My understanding of Lent is that you should give up something and replace it with prayer, or bible reading or community service or something good. I realize this is a very loose translation and I could give you all the nitty gritty about what Lent is really about, I know how to use Google, but this is my Lent synapses and it works for me.
So now I am throwing out my desire to change something into the world wide web, my friends, my family and by using Lent, I am sort of promising God too. I’m inviting Him into it. Super scary. But then again, is it maybe the smartest thing I have ever done? I mean, if I say I want to be closer to God I have to have conversations with Him. And He will want me to talk about my ‘stuff’. I will need to do a lot of sharing. I’m a good sharer with everyone but God. I go to so many other resources before Him. I’m getting better but I do struggle with thinking I can do this myself.
With that said, I would like to be able to give up sugar for Lent. More specifically, candy, cookies, ice cream, sugary drinks, desserts. It would have been quite easy to do this as a thirty day challenge but I know me. I cannot do this alone. Lent has inspired me to use God’s help. With Lent I will give up sugar AND spend more time in prayer, because I know, this thing, (as with so many things) I cannot do alone. Using Lent (and mostly spoons) I will commit to giving up sugar. I will boost my success rate through prayer with God.
And, misery loves company so I am going to share my progress here. Lucky you.
I, Teri Lyn, in mostly sound mind, am committing to eating no sugar (as listed above) for the next forty days, starting March 6 and ending on Easter Sunday.
Lord help me.