Yep, it’s 2014. Buh bye 2013.
Do I have resolutions. Indeed I do. Don’t you?
Get better at stuff.
Stop wasting time.
Speaking of wasting time. Bob and I watched a special “What We Wasted Our Time on in 2013.” And yes I get the irony, we did waste another hour of our time in 2013 watching a show about wasting our time in 2013. Basically a show of all the people and things in the media that got some (too much) attention throughout the year.
I was not surprised by the list and I don’t think you will be either, but being a fan of time wasting I am going to give you my wrap up.
Kardashians-I did not spend much time with them myself although I will admit I did see her big booty tweet picture when it first came out. What does this say about me? Too much time on the internet? Nah, not possible.
Miley-I think you had to live under a rock not to have heard about her…um…life, during 2013. But, she’s an entertainer and apparently has a great marketing team working for her. If you look at the words to one of her songs it is kind of sounds like the marketing team wrote their marketing idea down and she ran with it..” Came in like a wrecking ball, just closed my eyes and swung…” Or maybe that more aptly describes the way she was parented. You decide.
Rob Ford-What. An. Idiot. Okay, let me get this straight. He’s a political figure. He smoked crack and got caught. Just plain stupid is smoking crack in the first place. He moved up to idiot when his excuse was “I was pretty drunk when I did it.”
Twerking-There’s a video out about how to do this. I watched it. I tried it. From watching the video I learned that you have to hold your lower half in a squat to twerk, it’s all in the hips, you must start slow to get the movement down and then increase your speed. What I learned from trying to twerk? Holding a squat position for this long gave me cramps in my thighs and I was sore the next day. Also, increasing the speed can aggravate your sciatica.
Grumpy Cat-Ah yes, Tarder Sauce the cat. His friends call him Tard. He’s got a bad Catitude. Really, I should be doing these things to my own cats. Do you think Grumpy cat’s owner is making money on this? I already take too many pictures of my cats…I wonder if one of my resolutions for 2014 should be to become the new Grumpy cat owner….or I could do happy cat…or…I like this next one…gospel cat! And the people said Meow.
Selfies-I think the most talked about selfie was by a man named Weiner, and it was a picture of his weiner…and surprise, surprise another politician. Perhaps we should be spending some of our time actually learning about who we are voting into office?
The only time I really take a selfie is if I am wearing a questionable outfit. Then I send it to my sister to see if I can pull it off. I have heard that a prediction for 2014’s word will be groupie. It won’t be so much about what you did but who you did it with.
Candy Crush-King, the maker of Candy Crush, brings in around $633,000 a day. A day. I can’t even begin to do the math for this so let me just say that is way over $633,000 a year. Let me also just say I wish I had never heard of Candy Crush.
What did the fox say?-A viral Youtube by a group called Ylvis. I don’t think that many of you know the fox is a very verbal animal. He says many things and none of them would be what you would think they would be. Bob has become quite prolific in fox speak himself, I am sad to say I was the one that showed him the video. If you want some fun, the next time you see Bob ask him what the fox says. Or ask anyone. I bet you get a different answer every time.
What will 2014 bring for us to waste our time on? Hopefully Gospel Kitten will be on that list!
But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life. John 4:14