Snow Day

Things I don’t like in the winter. Plus some things I like but don’t really want to because they involve the snow.

1. Snow.

2. People talking about snow.

3. People who talk about snow in front of me just because they know I don’t like it.

4. Doing things in snow.

5. Snow outfits. No one can look skinny in a snow outfit…except maybe my stepdaughter Alexa.

6. Driving in snow.

7. Scraping snow off the car at work after it has snowed six inches and I don’t have a scraper.

8. Shoveling snow.

9. Snow that falls down the back of my collar.

10. I do like the way it looks when it covers the branches of an evergreen. But I don’t really want to.

11. I like to see the stark contrast of a red cardinal against a fresh morning snow. But I don’t really want to.

12. Gray snow.

13. Being blinded on a sunny day as you walk out of your house to a snow covered front yard. Okay, I might like this but only because it involves the sun shine.

14. Cold weather…although I do kind of like the feeling of snot freezing in your nose when you walk outside on a super cold day. I mean, how can you not be impressed with how cold it is when the snot freezes INSIDE your nose?

15. I can’t ski downhill. I can fall down a ski hill or scoot down on my butt because I can’t stand back up in the snow after falling. 

16. Trying to stand up in the foot deep powder while wearing clothes that are three inches thick with skis on.

17. Cross country skiing. 

18. Yellow snow. 

19. Once we had a cute little snowman in the backyard. He was perfectly positioned so I could look at him from the kitchen window. The dogs mistook him for a fire hydrant. I didn’t like that, nor did the snowman.

20. Dogs tracking snow in the house. Especially after number 19.

21. Stepping on a chunk of snow in stocking feet that dogs have tracked in.

22. Huge floaty snow flakes are pretty but are still snow.

23. I sat out in the snow in a dark coat just so I could check out all the different shapes and sizes that snow flakes come in. I might have liked this but will deny it if anyone asks.

24. I have stood outside during an early morning snow and been in awe of the quiet and beauty as the snow fell around me. But still, it’s snow.

25. My sister lives in Florida. When I send her pictures of the snow we are having she says she is so jealous…freak.

26. When my sister calls from Florida in January and tells me it’s sixty five degrees there and they have to wear their winter coats and mittens to stay warm I want to choke her with her winter scarf…okay, not really but seriously?

27. One time my ex husband bought me Cross Country skis for Christmas. Prior to Christmas, in plenty of time for him to return them, I ran across the written check for them. I casually mentioned that Cross Country skis could possibly be the worst gift anyone could ever give me and that if I ever received a pair for Christmas I would never EVER use them. At the time we owned a van with a broken hatch. It would not stay open on its own. You know what was PERFECT for holding it open as I loaded and unloaded the groceries? Perhaps not the used as they were intended but used none the less.

28. Making snow angels with my children when they were little was pretty darn amazing. Especially when we lived in Texas because two hours later it was seventy degrees again.

29. Snow ball fights. Unless I can nail the person that nailed me first, then I can go on and on about how awesome that fight was.

30. When I was in grade school I remember making snow forts and thinking that was pretty cool, but I was young and not too smart yet.

31. When it snows the barometric pressure drops. A drop in barometric pressure can make a woman go into labor. I had two children that were born while it snowed. You would think I would like snow because of that, but no, I just like the drop in barometric pressure. A full moon also causes the barometric pressure to drop. My third child was born on a night with a full moon. 

32. My third child was actually born on a blue moon, the second full moon in a month. She loves the snow so much that she chose to go to school at Northern Michigan University where they average more snow than Alaska…if she didn’t look just like me I’d wonder if we were really related. She is often one of the people in number three.

33. I lived in the middle of the snow belt in Plymouth, Indiana when I was around thirteen. My best friend had snowmobiles. We would spend all day zooming around on snowmobiles coming in only when we couldn’t feel our feet anymore. I loved those days but I think that was partly because the fumes from the snowmobile were so strong I was getting a slight buzz. Her mom would make homemade cinnamon rolls and they’d be cooking when we came in. I don’t care much for snow but I do love cinnamon rolls.

It’s snowing here. I’m roasting a chicken for dinner, the house is warm and smells good. The lawn is speckled with white powder. I don’t have to go out.

Snow days may be the greatest thing about the snow.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Bob
    Nov 11, 2013 @ 15:49:31

    Having lived in Chicago for all my life does bring many great memories of snow and snow days. But most of those were when I was younger. Lets take a vacation!

    Reply

  2. Teresa @ The Fat Cactus
    Nov 11, 2013 @ 16:51:47

    I love your thoughts on snow and agree with many of them!
    Seeing proper 6 pointed snowflakes with all their beautiful detail is amazing, but snow is slippy and I fall over EVERY winter without fail.
    Looking out over miles of unspoilt perfect white blanketed fields is wonderful, but turn round and look at the grey sludge by the roadside and the magic disappears.
    I think overall our expectations of snow, the picture-postcard vision in our minds is always let down by the cold wet reality (and in my case, the UK’s unfathomable ability to grind to a halt after only a few flakes hit the ground!)

    Reply

  3. Aimee
    Nov 11, 2013 @ 18:55:19

    Snow days are awesome…otherwise I completely agree with your whole list of awful snowiness. I am definitely not a fan of winter. I live in the wrong state!!!!

    Reply

  4. Claire
    Nov 12, 2013 @ 07:03:32

    I’m going to take a very random guess here, but you DON’T like winter? 😉

    Reply

  5. melanie jean juneau
    Nov 12, 2013 @ 23:53:52

    hilarious list

    Reply

  6. Suheiry
    Nov 20, 2013 @ 16:08:28

    Snow is nice if you’re looking at it from a window inside a warm house as you sip a hot coffee. I hate winter, I hate snow. It actually upsets me so much, I’m convinced I may have SAD. This post made me smile and giggle. Thanks!

    Reply

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