What I’ve Been Doing

My time of late has been dedicated to the birthday countdown. It’s a big birthday year so a lot of time is needed to make this the best countdown ever…or at least the longest.

This year is the big five oh. Which is totally not like Hawaii Five-Oh which is our fiftieth state and became our fiftieth state on August 21, 1959. Perhaps we should have a luau or something to celebrate? Or maybe everyone should wear coconut bras and grass skirts on that day.

Coconut bras and grass skirts. There’s a couple of fashion gems.I get the grass skirt, it’s kinda cute, goes with everything, could be considered sexy, is cool and recyclable.

I do not get the coconut bra. Not cute. Kinda scratchy. Really only goes with a grass skirt and only comes in brown so wearing black with it is a major faux pas. One size fits all…are they kidding me? We can rest assured that the coconut bra will not take off as a fashion icon…knock on wood…or you could just knock on my coconut bra.

Another thing I do not see the sense in?

Edible underwear.

I imagine they are a bit like a fruit roll up. Sticky. Just try wearing a fruit roll up stuck to your fanny and let me know if that is in any way fun. I realize edible undies were not meant to be worn all day but even a brief encounter with that stickiness does not sound appealing to me…get it?  “Brief”?  “A-Peeling?”

Besides, if I am going to add extra calories to my day it is going to be with Oreo’s, not underwear.

One thing they do have going for them is that they are recyclable. If you are concerned about leaving a carbon footprint on the world, eat your underwear, the ultimate in recycling. Hmmm, this would also cut down on laundry…I may have to rethink this. I’ll get back to you on my decision, but I don’t think it will work. I mean where would I store them? In my bedroom or in the kitchen?

But I digress.

Back to the birthday countdown. I spend time each evening, sometimes early morning, scouring the internet for fascinating facts tp share with all my countdown fans (both of them!). Good heavens there is a lot of crap on the internet. I just type a word and a number in the google search box, hit enter and bam, I get a page that lists a bunch of stuff that sort of relates to my search.

I click on the item in the list that sounds the most intriguing and bam, I get a page full of more information than I could possible use on just one thing.

Then, that one thing makes me question another thing and before I know it the Google has sucked one hour of my life away and my brain has absorbed a bunch of, mostly useless, info. Or I spend hours looking at funny cats on You Tube…Don’t judge! You go and try to watch just one video of Maru the cat. Just. One. He’s like Oreo cookies to me. Just one is never enough.

What I am trying to say here is that I have been searching to entertain you with snippets of fun facts but I end up spending more time reading and looking than I do writing and sharing.

For instance, yesterday was 78 days to my birthday. As I looked for 78 on Google I discover that there are 78 cards in a Tarot deck. You know, Tarot cards, like fortune telling. Tarot got me curious so I checked out a few websites. Then I found a place that would do a virtual reading. Now, I do not put any stock in that malarkey. I’m not that gullible as to believe my future can be explained by some random cards.

I did the virtual reading just for fun.

The cards will not give a true reading if you are not meditating on an area in your life that you need direction in, so think about what you want the cards to tell you! Concentrate.

I got the lay out but I was not given an actual explanation of what these cards mean. It did not really answer the question I so diligently focused on. Inquiring minds want to know, I could not just leave and NOT find out what it all meant. Sooooooo, I had to go out to the internet, learn about Tarot cards and do my own reading. (Two hours!)

But that’s another blog. I learned some fascinating stuff. Fascinating.

And lastly (I wasn’t sure when this was going to end either!) I found a website that would, for a mere 77 cents, send you something to do. Yes. You send them 77 cents (they take Pay Pal) and they send you one thing to do…like write something nice on five postcards and mail it to four friends and one stranger. Or bake something sweet and share half with a neighbor, or go for a five mile hike.

They wanted feedback. “Let us know how you liked what you did!”

There were only two posts on the whole blog and it was dated 2005. I am thinking that they got so busy sending people things to do that they no longer had time to keep up with their blog.

I may try this one…send me one dollar (I am trying to make enough money to quit my job and 77 cents has already been done) and I will send you something to do…no refunds, no illegal activity, nothing dangerous.

Smart shoppers always want a little glimpse of what they might be purchasing. If you send me a dollar your task would be to wear some edible underwear.

I want feedback.





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