Many people know that I love Johnny Depp.
I love Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow.
I have been known to pause the movie with a screen shot of him on the TV and sit down with coffee and pretend like we are having coffee.
Ha Ha…that’s not really true. Really, I’ve never done that. I’ve never done that with a Ryan Reynolds movie either.
Anyway, in honor of talk like a pirate day I want to tell you a story. It’s a short little story about a pirate with a wooden leg, a hook for a hand and an eye patch.
Bob and I were lounging on the beach when he asks me if I am hungry. (This part of the story adds credibility…Bob is always hungry and we do like to lie on the beach when we are on vacation.)
No Pumpkin, I am not hungry because we just got off the cruise ship where our cabin boy just delivered scrambled eggs, half a slab of crispy bacon, toast, fruit, danish, another half slab of bacon and coffee. Are you hungry?
He was. He has a taste for ice cream. This launches us into a “How we are going to make our millions so we can retire comfortably” conversation. This one revolving around selling ice cream out of a truck on the beaches where cruise ships dock. Brilliant! (If I see you doing this I will demand my 10% for coming up with the idea.)
Anyway, the conversation ends with Bob saying he still had a taste for ice cream and he wanders off whistling “Do Your Ears Hang Low?”.
I settle in the sand for some sunning when I notice a scuffle-shuffle sound and see a pirate walking along the beach.
He stops a few feet from where I am sitting and attempts to set up an umbrella in the sand. Can you picture it? He just can’t get a good grip with one hand and a hook. So I go over to help as it is too painful for me to watch him struggle. He expresses his gratitude and we start chatting. After a few minutes I just have to ask him how he got the wooden leg.
And before I type his answer be sure to use a pirate voice when reading what he says…it’s much more fun for everyone and it IS talk like a pirate day.
He says “Twas a fierce battle for a ship lass (he called me lass!) when me leg got blown off by a cannon ball.”
Ouch. Then I asked him how he got the hook.
“Oh poppet (poppet!!) twas a battle for a treasure chest full o’ gold when me opponent sliced me arm off with ‘is sword.”
Ouch again. Having asked about the leg and the arm, I continued and asked him about the eye patch.
“Oh love, ’twas a beautiful spring morn and I was on deck lookin’ up to the skies when a bird pooped in me eye.”
I waited, there had to be more, how can bird poop put out your eye? He said no more. So I said the obvious.
“Bird poop put out your eye?!”
“No, no darlin’ twas me first day with the hook.”