>Bob likes to learn people. When someone pulls up next to him at a stoplight Bob immediately takes it as a challenge. And if it is at a stoplight that is right before a merge, where two lanes shrink to one he takes this opportunity to learn the driver some good manners. If Bob was there first, it is just plain rude to try and gun it to get ahead. And…it ain’t gonna happen in this town mister.

Bob’s even got it timed at most local lights, he can start to gun it before the light is really green, but he is not quite halfway across the intersection when it does go green and he screeches out with a big lead and crushes the uneducated. Consider your self learned.

We drive an Excursion. It is the same size as a short school bus. A smart car could hide in our car. It’s not easy to gun it and win. But it’s not the size of the car is it? It’s the determination of the driver. And Bob is determined to learn all y’all.

Bob and I were adult leaders for our local Campus Life. We have had two daughters who were youth leaders and they were at the same meetings as we were but we would drive separate cars because, well, because they were teenagers. Anyway. After Campus Life was over everyone would go to a local restaurant for continued conversations and french fries. The meeting was over at 9 and Bob was in the car at 9:01 impatiently waiting for me. One time he was creeping along, very slowly as I approached. He was yelling out the window about the great headstart this would give us if I could just hop on the driving board and get in without him having to actually stop.

Yes, we had to race our daughter to the restaurant. And she knew it. And she was also revving her engine and honking her horn to get her passengers to put the pedal to the metal and get in the car or find another ride “because I have to beat Bob!”. We have passed our daughter on the highway, on the way from one of these meetings, driving 70 miles an hour. (It’s a 55 zone). And she in turn has passed us.

As we (Bob!) maniacally cut through parking lots and pull into a vacant spot, Bob is screaming “Get out, Get out” because the winner is officially declared when one of your passengers steps through the door of the destination. And I am caught up in the excitement and am leaping from the car before it’s fully stopped. When did I start condoning this behavior? Two spots over the students in our daughters car are doing the same thing! It’s a mad dash to the door. Phew the adults win. This time. And Bob berates our daughter for speeding on the highway with other kids in her car and then pulls me aside and says “That was a little too close, you are going to have to jump out of the car as I drive by the door next time.”

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michele Bergh
    Apr 10, 2011 @ 20:30:26

    >I can completely picture you guys and it cracks me up. I recently found out a friend of mine LOVES LOVES LOVES to drive crazy and gave it up for lent…maybe next year for Bob?? It's only 40 days, right?


  2. Itsme.
    Apr 11, 2011 @ 08:12:28

    >Michele, this is an excellent suggestion…but Bob insists his willingness and charity towards teaching inexperienced drivers is much too valuable to our town and he fears his neglect would endanger others. Gotta love him, he is consistent.


  3. Emmer
    Apr 12, 2011 @ 22:51:18

    >I let Bob win.


  4. rhelmboldt
    Apr 26, 2011 @ 18:28:46

    >I won fair and square, consider yourself learned.


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